A couple weeks ago, I was having lunch with a friend and was leaving the restaurant. Well, this parking lot has these measly 'posts' that I don't really think serve a particular purpose other than being in the way. Anyways, I was backing out trying not to hit the car that was next to me, since they parked too close, and as I turned my head to look back, I heard the most awful sound...ccrrruuunnnccchhhh. OH NO! I was looking back at this point and could not see a thing...that is because this fine little pole, had found itself hiding behind the one corner I could not see between where the side window ended and the back windshield began. Needless to say I have a nice indent on the rear bumper on the passenger side. I went a couple days later to get some estimates since it happened after all the places had closed on a Saturday afternoon. At any other point in my life thus far, I think I would have just melted in shame and balled my eyes out to the point that I was dehydrated but because of all the work God's been doing in my life, I chose to look at the positive side: no one was hurt, no other cars or people were involved, and it really won't matter once I finally am able to get it fixed.
Furthermore, I found myself really examining my pride. I realized that there are quite a few things that I take pride in...ones that don't affect others but rather my own self-confidence and self-concept. Actually, this extends to most things in my life. Those things that I do that are a reflection of myself such as driving, how I decorate and keep my room/office/spaces, my musical/photography/teaching skills, and just about everything else, are the things I put my 'pride' in because I lack self-confidence. This pride is also an extension of the high expectation (my half Type A personality appears here) I have for myself. I don't want to be thought of as a careless driver because I certainly am not, I don't want people to think that I'm not as musical as I portray, I don't want people to know that I'm scared, lonely, and would much rather become a hermit at times. All of these things go against what God wants for me. Satan is trying to attack through these because he knows how much I'm pleasing God with my life...or at least how I'm intentionally desiring and trying to please God with my life and choices.
DE-RAIL with me for a minute: As I write, this song is playing on the radio: